A fun little bit of information. It seems like from the beginning of me moving into my apartment, I continued to find things that we needed to buy. My roommate's TV was only 13 inches, which was not enough, so my folks were incredibly awesome and bought me a new Vizio 22 inch HDTV, which is great. In the back of my head I can't help but think, though, that once school rolls around I will probably never use it again. But it's great for the Xbox, and for plugging my Mac into and watching movies and Cardinals games.
But now I will have to get a new phone and carrier and take care of it on my own. Not a big deal, but I've been spending too much time trying to find the best value. Plus, I'm tempted to actually get a phone with access to 3G, or at least the internet, so I can help find my way around this city. I have a relatively good sense of direction, but I tend to need a lot of directions to get anywhere.
But you all probably want some info on Boston since this is officially Day 1 on my own.
Well, my roommate is Parker. He's interesting, but a good guy at heart. I think we're going to get along pretty well. Our room is well decorated with a bunch of maps and posters, and it is beginning to feel like another home, which is good.
But it sucks not knowing anyone else here...or I should elaborate, no one else being here. Our apartment building is still really quiet and a lot of people still have yet to move in, so I'm hoping things will get a bit livelier as the days go on. But orientation is on this coming Thursday, so I'll get to meet all of my Theology classmates who I will be struggling alongside.
I still don't know my classes, will also find that out on the 3rd. Cool to not worry about it, not cool to scramble to get books in time.
I will say that even with a bit of time here, Boston is like no where else I have ever been. Everything is really compact, as in it's all really close together. This makes exploring very easy. I'm very close to the train/subway so getting around is not a problem, but even just walking around is very easy to get to places. Parker and I walked to a local pub last night, it wasn't bad. Loud, like any other time, but it was cool. But a bit farther down is another pub, and another one, and another one. There's one every block in my scientific analysis. And I'm not really much of a drinker period, and I really haven't found anything I like anyway, but the atmosphere is really fun.
On an aside, I don't know the laws of Boston, but I have yet to find a bar that actually has people smoking inside it. I like this. It was one of the things that I always hated about bars was the smoke, and without it I find this a much more pleasant experience.
Speaking of pleasant experiences, let's talk about the people of Boston. I find that they are not as bad as others think, but I'm not going to go so far as to call them all saints. I have found some nice people and some, let's just say not-so-nice. Specifically when driving. I find the drivers in Boston to be something special. But I think it's just part of the character of Boston, and there are a lot of characters (such as the florist who made a delivery to our building yesterday and told us all of his religion called "Howieism," which actually was really cool and I will try to explain later if I can remember it all). But it is very cool, and I am really enjoying what I have seen so far.
Alright, that is all for now, and I will be sure to update when I actually have some good adventures, but so far so good. I miss St. Louis though, but this is going well so far. Peace.
"Don't blame us if we ever doubt you
You know we couldn't live without you
Boston, you are the only only only"
-"Tessie" Dropkick Murphys
Friday, August 28, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
Born To Run
It's very late, or early, in my "Last Day in St. Louis," and today has been more goodbyes and hanging out with people. So many good stories, so many good moments between Mass this morning at SHF and Mass this night at SLU, dinner with a good friend, lunch with a bunch of friends, but at the end of all of it, I am just left with this sense of calm about leaving. I still wish I could stay, still going to miss everyone, but I feel like I'm ready to leave and to see Boston.
I'm ready to not hold back, and to not let my love of my home keep me from discovering why I will be up in Boston in the first place. Because there has to be some bigger plan in play here. I can't believe that it's all just random, I have to think there is a plot that I can't see here. So right now, I'm ready to move forward with it.
Because if I'm really honest with myself, I have to leave, even if it's only for a bit. I have to take a chance on something greater out there, that there is something waiting for me and I just have to want to go and meet it. I don't know what it is, and if this is just a big mistake, then no harm done, I'll be right back. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering "what if?" I refuse to do so. So I'll take this shot and see what happens. The worst I can do is fail. And I can live with failure. I can't live with regret.
So long St. Louis. I always loved you, even if I never said it. And I will miss you, but right now I'm being called somewhere else, and I need to see what's on the other side of the horizon. But I'll see you again. I promise.
"Someday girl I dont know when were gonna get to that place
Where we really want to go and well walk in the sun
But till then tramps like us baby we were born to run"
-Bruce Springsteen "Born to Run"
I'm ready to not hold back, and to not let my love of my home keep me from discovering why I will be up in Boston in the first place. Because there has to be some bigger plan in play here. I can't believe that it's all just random, I have to think there is a plot that I can't see here. So right now, I'm ready to move forward with it.
Because if I'm really honest with myself, I have to leave, even if it's only for a bit. I have to take a chance on something greater out there, that there is something waiting for me and I just have to want to go and meet it. I don't know what it is, and if this is just a big mistake, then no harm done, I'll be right back. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering "what if?" I refuse to do so. So I'll take this shot and see what happens. The worst I can do is fail. And I can live with failure. I can't live with regret.
So long St. Louis. I always loved you, even if I never said it. And I will miss you, but right now I'm being called somewhere else, and I need to see what's on the other side of the horizon. But I'll see you again. I promise.
"Someday girl I dont know when were gonna get to that place
Where we really want to go and well walk in the sun
But till then tramps like us baby we were born to run"
-Bruce Springsteen "Born to Run"
Friday, August 21, 2009
Awe
By the way, I am sick to death of playing that song over and over in my head. I hate Augustana. Mini rant over.
It's funny. Two days ago I was scared to death of leaving. Not that I'm not now, but that was all that could consume me. All I thought about were the people I was leaving behind, the things I had yet to do, everything I held onto. All of that would have to go, at least to some extent. I had been seriously wondering if I was doing the right thing in leaving. I still do wonder, I can't be entirely certain about this move. It'd be too easy otherwise. It wouldn't be right otherwise.
But over the past two days I've been experiencing something different. And that is awe. I am still scared to leave, but what strikes me more are those people that I am leaving behind, those things I have done, and all that I held onto. And it fills me with such a hope that I am still the one with power in my situation, that I still have control over this crazy thing called life, at least to a little bit. I have hope that this is not the end of one story, and the beginning of another, but simply another chapter to build on what has happened.
The teens of Seven Holy Founders...my friends at Seven Holy Founders, have changed my perspective in so many ways, but it was humbling to listen to their stories last night about what I had done for them, and what I meant to them. It was something I did not expect to hear, and what I heard surprised me. But throughout all of it, I could feel the love and the spirit from them. And I was just awestruck. To think, that for all of this time I got be part of their lives, to try and do something, just hoping and praying to God that it would work out for the best, and for just a brief moment to have that little reminder, that you know what, you can do good and you have. It's not that I expect to be told when I've done something right, I don't, and honestly I really don't want to know. I usually don't like it when people come up to me and tell me how I helped them or changed something for them. I just do what I'm here to do. But last night was something different. It was like a sacrament in many ways. A chance to see that all is not so lost, that I am not so hopeless, and that, you know what, you did right here. I wasn't perfect, I couldn't ask to be perfect, but I did what I was supposed to. I did right. And if I can do right here, I can do it anywhere.
It was awe that hit me. Awe at these incredible people who thought enough of me and of what I did and what I stood for to tell me. Awe at God, that somehow, through some crazy way and scheme, I could see God in these people, and I could feel God's presence through them, and that in some way, I helped bring that about in them. If God can work through me like that, then what else am I capable of? Maryann told me and continues to tell me, "God has big plans for you" to which I always reply "That's what I'm afraid of." But what if? What if I can do something great? What if there is that in me? I pray that I get a chance to find out.
Tonight I got to jam with my friends Brian and Trung. We started what I call our "Guitar Triumvirate" a few years back in the 10 PM Mass Choir, where we'd meet and jam, over retreats, in my apartment, you name it, we played it. It's always great, cause we all have different tastes and preferences and playing styles, but for that moment in time, it all just clicks. It all just makes sense. And musically, for me, it's times like that when it works the best. When you're just able to let go and enjoy it and create for the purpose of creating.
And in a different way, I experienced that awe again. Just an awe at the gift of music in my life, and my ability to share in that with others to make even better music. An awe at what I can do when I don't worry about it being perfect and just play, just sing, and let everything else fall into play. It's not that there aren't mistakes. But the beauty of the whole is worth any mistake that I make. It gives me hope that I will continue to find more musicians to share this with.
And all in all, I am just in awe with what is about to happen. I had always figured that I would be in St. Louis for all of my life, and here I am, about to embark on the greatest adventure I've ever been on. And I am scared and sad to leave, and I am going to miss everyone horribly. But at the same time I am more excited then I have ever been. I get to see what I am really made of, and it's something that I cannot wait for. I cannot wait.
So I think I'll go to Boston. If you want to know what the journey is like, come along with me. Follow this crazy blog that I will try to keep updated with what happens. Some things will be serious, some will definitely not. But for all of you that I know and love in St. Louis, come along with me.
Until I get there, I will continue to be in awe of everything and everyone here.
"At the moment of surrender
I folded to my knees
I did not notice the passersby
And they did not notice me"
-U2, Moment of Surrender
It's funny. Two days ago I was scared to death of leaving. Not that I'm not now, but that was all that could consume me. All I thought about were the people I was leaving behind, the things I had yet to do, everything I held onto. All of that would have to go, at least to some extent. I had been seriously wondering if I was doing the right thing in leaving. I still do wonder, I can't be entirely certain about this move. It'd be too easy otherwise. It wouldn't be right otherwise.
But over the past two days I've been experiencing something different. And that is awe. I am still scared to leave, but what strikes me more are those people that I am leaving behind, those things I have done, and all that I held onto. And it fills me with such a hope that I am still the one with power in my situation, that I still have control over this crazy thing called life, at least to a little bit. I have hope that this is not the end of one story, and the beginning of another, but simply another chapter to build on what has happened.
The teens of Seven Holy Founders...my friends at Seven Holy Founders, have changed my perspective in so many ways, but it was humbling to listen to their stories last night about what I had done for them, and what I meant to them. It was something I did not expect to hear, and what I heard surprised me. But throughout all of it, I could feel the love and the spirit from them. And I was just awestruck. To think, that for all of this time I got be part of their lives, to try and do something, just hoping and praying to God that it would work out for the best, and for just a brief moment to have that little reminder, that you know what, you can do good and you have. It's not that I expect to be told when I've done something right, I don't, and honestly I really don't want to know. I usually don't like it when people come up to me and tell me how I helped them or changed something for them. I just do what I'm here to do. But last night was something different. It was like a sacrament in many ways. A chance to see that all is not so lost, that I am not so hopeless, and that, you know what, you did right here. I wasn't perfect, I couldn't ask to be perfect, but I did what I was supposed to. I did right. And if I can do right here, I can do it anywhere.
It was awe that hit me. Awe at these incredible people who thought enough of me and of what I did and what I stood for to tell me. Awe at God, that somehow, through some crazy way and scheme, I could see God in these people, and I could feel God's presence through them, and that in some way, I helped bring that about in them. If God can work through me like that, then what else am I capable of? Maryann told me and continues to tell me, "God has big plans for you" to which I always reply "That's what I'm afraid of." But what if? What if I can do something great? What if there is that in me? I pray that I get a chance to find out.
Tonight I got to jam with my friends Brian and Trung. We started what I call our "Guitar Triumvirate" a few years back in the 10 PM Mass Choir, where we'd meet and jam, over retreats, in my apartment, you name it, we played it. It's always great, cause we all have different tastes and preferences and playing styles, but for that moment in time, it all just clicks. It all just makes sense. And musically, for me, it's times like that when it works the best. When you're just able to let go and enjoy it and create for the purpose of creating.
And in a different way, I experienced that awe again. Just an awe at the gift of music in my life, and my ability to share in that with others to make even better music. An awe at what I can do when I don't worry about it being perfect and just play, just sing, and let everything else fall into play. It's not that there aren't mistakes. But the beauty of the whole is worth any mistake that I make. It gives me hope that I will continue to find more musicians to share this with.
And all in all, I am just in awe with what is about to happen. I had always figured that I would be in St. Louis for all of my life, and here I am, about to embark on the greatest adventure I've ever been on. And I am scared and sad to leave, and I am going to miss everyone horribly. But at the same time I am more excited then I have ever been. I get to see what I am really made of, and it's something that I cannot wait for. I cannot wait.
So I think I'll go to Boston. If you want to know what the journey is like, come along with me. Follow this crazy blog that I will try to keep updated with what happens. Some things will be serious, some will definitely not. But for all of you that I know and love in St. Louis, come along with me.
Until I get there, I will continue to be in awe of everything and everyone here.
"At the moment of surrender
I folded to my knees
I did not notice the passersby
And they did not notice me"
-U2, Moment of Surrender
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