It's very late, or early, in my "Last Day in St. Louis," and today has been more goodbyes and hanging out with people. So many good stories, so many good moments between Mass this morning at SHF and Mass this night at SLU, dinner with a good friend, lunch with a bunch of friends, but at the end of all of it, I am just left with this sense of calm about leaving. I still wish I could stay, still going to miss everyone, but I feel like I'm ready to leave and to see Boston.
I'm ready to not hold back, and to not let my love of my home keep me from discovering why I will be up in Boston in the first place. Because there has to be some bigger plan in play here. I can't believe that it's all just random, I have to think there is a plot that I can't see here. So right now, I'm ready to move forward with it.
Because if I'm really honest with myself, I have to leave, even if it's only for a bit. I have to take a chance on something greater out there, that there is something waiting for me and I just have to want to go and meet it. I don't know what it is, and if this is just a big mistake, then no harm done, I'll be right back. But I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering "what if?" I refuse to do so. So I'll take this shot and see what happens. The worst I can do is fail. And I can live with failure. I can't live with regret.
So long St. Louis. I always loved you, even if I never said it. And I will miss you, but right now I'm being called somewhere else, and I need to see what's on the other side of the horizon. But I'll see you again. I promise.
"Someday girl I dont know when were gonna get to that place
Where we really want to go and well walk in the sun
But till then tramps like us baby we were born to run"
-Bruce Springsteen "Born to Run"
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