I played Madden today for the first time in weeks. Why is this important? It isn't, and that's the point.
First lesson about grad school: It's awesome (if you are passionate about what you're studying and love it, if you don't you ain't gonna make it.).
Second lesson about grad school: It will own your life. No other way to really have it.
I remember in undergrad making complaints about professors who acted as if their class was the only class that you were taking. Well, apply this principle to grad school classes, and you begin to see what it's like. I don't really mean that as a complaint, I expected a lot of work. But that doesn't mean I like it. I love the Theology, I love learning all this stuff, I just wish it didn't dominate my life so much.
That's why balance is key. Today I have no classes, no real commitments, just the possibility of going to the Theology social at yet another random bar tonight. So today, I did something I really haven't done in a while. I relaxed. Played some Madden football, didn't think about anything for a bit. It was meaningless and stupid and a waste of time and I loved it. If I'm gonna waste time, I'd at least like to actually waste time, rather than try to be productive and waste time that way.
It's balance. For everything there is a time and a place, and it is important for me to remember that, just because I have the time to plow once again into dense theological texts, doesn't mean I necessarily should. I need to mind my own sanity, thank you very much. I have faith in God and faith that things will happen as they need to, and I don't need to spend all my time worrying about how I'm going to get things done, or even spending all my time trying to force everything to get done. It will happen when it happens. Balance.
Why am I reflecting on this right now? Simple.
I got my first paper assignment last night. 5 pages, not too bad. Due next Thursday, again, not really bad, but just an addition to the 600+ pages of reading plus the two other 1 pagers that I already had. Oh, and I also have another paper due in a month, 7 pages, which will need some outside reading in addition to what I just described here.
Thank God for Old Testament...no papers...wait, am I wrong, let me check...ok, there's a midterm paper, but that's it. Like three grades for the entire course...wonderful. But at least I get to read the other three books of the Pentateuch this weekend...
So, before I dive off the cliff of sanity into the world of Theology for the weekend, I feel that balance is important to consider here. Is a half hour of video games are equally balanced out with an entire weekend of reading and writing and thinking? In the greater scheme of things, I'd like to think so. It's about balance.
Like take a seesaw. To stay on the level of the earth, you typically need to have things on either side of the seesaw that weigh the same. Like two people. But I'm not studying things on the level of the earth. As Fr. Vacek put it, "We get to study God." And God is clearly above the earth, so if I'm going to study God, then balance for me is going to involve getting above the level of the earth. So one one side put me, and on the other side, say...the Empire State Building. Or Mount Fiji. Or my Harper Collins Study Bible. Something big like that. Balance.
Or you could look at it another way, such as keeping one's balance. Like say you're standing barefoot on a 2x4 plank on top of the mouth of an open volcano and Roger Clemens is pitching fastballs at you. It's hot, you're tired, you'd kill for something cool, oh and that a$$hold Clemens keeps hurling his steroid-powered fastballs at you. You're moving, trying your best to dodge and keep from falling into the molten hot magma below.
But you're keeping your balance. And that's something. Are you gonna eventually fall? Of course. You're barefoot on a 2x4 on top of the mouth of an open volcano with Roider Clemens throwing at you. You never had a shot. But that hasn't diminished the fight in you for those few precious moments before you descend into a fiery death below.
That's how I see the balance now. Am I going to eventually have to succumb to the fact that I'm in grad school and that come November I won't be sleeping much/well anymore? Of course. But if I try to keep my balance now, I might be able to get a few more precious moments of sanity before that occurs.
And that's what the point really is, right?
Please, someone tell me that's what the point is...
...
Well, in either case, that's how I see it. Keeping with the crazy nature of this post, here's Kashmir.
"Oh let the sun beat down upon my face, stars to fill my dream
I am a traveler of both time and space, to be where I have been
To sit with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen
They talk of days for which they sit and wait and all will be revealed"
-Led Zeppelin "Kashmir"
P.S. By the way, if you can't tell, I'm clearly having fun with this blog thing ;) But seriously, I have a sh*t-ton of work to do. Peace.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Disciples do not clone their Master's life; They follow the Master
Ah, blog. How I have neglected thee. I shall amend that now. Let the rant begin (Sorry if this, or any of these, don't wind up being coherent, kind of just going of the top of my head...).
Now that I have finally had a full week (really a week and a half, but I dropped one of my classes, so now it's a full week) I can finally give my first impressions of what grad school is like:
Pain.
Let me clarify. I love the discussions, the classes, the reading, the people, and pretty much all of what this has encompassed so far. The classes are great, I'm really being pushed to think about this Theology stuff a lot more than I probably ever have, and I'm really learning some cool facts and applications about it. The discussions about religion and Theology up here are also incredible. There really is just a difference in the atmosphere, that we can talk about God and Jesus and theology and what not and not have to be afraid that others are gonna judge us for it or something like that. It's incredibly freeing.
The people have also been great. The teachers and faculty have a great spirit in them; they really seem to love what they do and I think that is the foundation for the learning that can take place. They aren't focused solely on the academic work, but even more so on making sure that what we learn changes us, and in most cases anyways, helps to change the world. You really get a sense of the social mission of the Church here, that we aren't just learning this stuff to learn it, but to actually do something good with it.
And this is also found in the students here. I have yet to find a student in the STM who hasn't spent at least some part of the past few years volunteering in some type of ministry. There's youth ministry, prison ministry, music ministry, homeless, the poor, overseas, immigrant, all kinds of varied and different vocations and calls. And to top that all off, the people here are great. Definitely all different, all kinds of Theological folks, but they're real people. They seem to "get it" and to understand a practicality of what they're studying that (sorry) I do not see oftentimes in my Church today. It's refreshing to know that there are people who care enough about Mother Church to be willing to go and study and devote their lives to it. Even if others do not understand it. Even if self-appointed watchdog groups attack them and the leaders of the schools they attend. Even if people do not want to hear what they have to say, and condemn them without even considering what they stand for, they continue on. Everyone's story here is different, and we've all come from different backgrounds and served in different ways and dealt with different adversities, but the unifying factor, regardless of our positions, is our love of God and desire to serve God through this call, even if we wind up penniless and persecuted (both of which are likely).
And in a sense, that is what I mean by pain. In part I meant the 600 pages of reading I had this past weekend, followed up by 600 more this weekend, in addition to papers and what not.
But in another part, I mean the pain of trial. Because right now, things are great. But when I leave BC, with a masters, with a doctorate, with no piece of paper at all, I head out into the "real world," if such a thing exists. I head out into a Church that is changing, whether it's progressing forward, or returning to the past, or a bit of both, and I have the potential to influence that change. But it won't come easy. Not that anything ever does, especially in academia. I'm sure that it must piss doctors off to an incredible degree when someone comes up with these homebrew remedies that get all kinds of acclaim, even though in reality they don't work. "Dr. Phil" draws an incredible audience, even though the APA revoked his license years ago.
The same is true, I find, in the Church, if not more so. The people who have actually devoted the time and energy to study the Bible, the history, consider the morality, etc., get drowned out by the will of the masses who haven't done the same work. It's not to criticize them, because (hopefully) they were doing something equally as important. But, especially in morals, I find, there is a problem, and my fear is that people make choices and place them under the guise of "Christian" without ever actually thinking and looking at the rationale for those choices. You see this in politics especially, which is a whole 'nother spiel entirely, I'll save it for another time.
But I feel pain. I see my Church, my beautiful Catholic Church, and I see that the world doesn't want to trust it anymore. I see it's mistakes (that's right, its MISTAKES) and I understand why the world seems to have a problem with it, but I can't blame the Church. It's only made up of humans. We ain't perfect, not by a long shot. Everyone, whether thief, mechanic, politician, or pontiff, is a sinner, and we screw up. I don't think that's reason to hate the Church. I love it. I love my Catholicism, and I can't stand to see when some people drag its name through the mud, or when people call themselves Catholic and then proceed to drag it into the mud. I want to stop that. And the only way I know to get people to stop that is to stop the ignorance.
I want to stop the ignorance of the people who attack Catholicism because of the actions of a few and don't really understand. At the same time, I want to stop the misinformation about Catholicism and what it stands for and what it should stand for. I want people to think about this. My hope, my only hope for anything that I ever did in ministry or that I ever will do, is that people will think about this stuff. Theology is incredible. I love it. But I have to think about it. If we are not willing to question, if we are not willing to wrestle with this stuff, then we are just like the Pharisees and scribes that Jesus criticized in the gospels. They got the letter of the law, but they never bothered to find the spirit of the Law. I hope to find the spirit, and I hope that I have encouraged others to do that as well.
Jesus said "Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." (Matt 7:7-8) I hope that if I can do nothing else, I encourage people to ask, to search, and to knock. That is the way we will come to find God.
And I continue to be reaffirmed as I study the value of this time, and that this is a good decision for me. Being here has reminded me of why I care about this Church and this theology so much, why I love my ministries so much. Because this is, what I hope at least, what God has me here for. To help others, to be a voice for God and for the truth. Even if I'm misguided, and I certainly am at times, I hope that I can at least get people to seek God more fully. If I am in the right, then I hope to convince others that I have found the right. If I am wrong, then I hope to convince others to correct my mistakes through their own work.
Well...I do hope I encourage people to do one more thing though...to follow what Jesus says in John: "I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you should also love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35). If we can do this, then everything else will work out. I hope that we will always strive to find the truth, but if we want to find the truth, this is the way towards it. Without love, without genuinely treating people out of love and a desire for their betterment, not our own, we will never be able to find the truth. If we become people of love, we will find the One who loved us.
And really what else is there?
"They took your life
They could not take your pride
In the name of love
One more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love?"
-U2, Pride
Now that I have finally had a full week (really a week and a half, but I dropped one of my classes, so now it's a full week) I can finally give my first impressions of what grad school is like:
Pain.
Let me clarify. I love the discussions, the classes, the reading, the people, and pretty much all of what this has encompassed so far. The classes are great, I'm really being pushed to think about this Theology stuff a lot more than I probably ever have, and I'm really learning some cool facts and applications about it. The discussions about religion and Theology up here are also incredible. There really is just a difference in the atmosphere, that we can talk about God and Jesus and theology and what not and not have to be afraid that others are gonna judge us for it or something like that. It's incredibly freeing.
The people have also been great. The teachers and faculty have a great spirit in them; they really seem to love what they do and I think that is the foundation for the learning that can take place. They aren't focused solely on the academic work, but even more so on making sure that what we learn changes us, and in most cases anyways, helps to change the world. You really get a sense of the social mission of the Church here, that we aren't just learning this stuff to learn it, but to actually do something good with it.
And this is also found in the students here. I have yet to find a student in the STM who hasn't spent at least some part of the past few years volunteering in some type of ministry. There's youth ministry, prison ministry, music ministry, homeless, the poor, overseas, immigrant, all kinds of varied and different vocations and calls. And to top that all off, the people here are great. Definitely all different, all kinds of Theological folks, but they're real people. They seem to "get it" and to understand a practicality of what they're studying that (sorry) I do not see oftentimes in my Church today. It's refreshing to know that there are people who care enough about Mother Church to be willing to go and study and devote their lives to it. Even if others do not understand it. Even if self-appointed watchdog groups attack them and the leaders of the schools they attend. Even if people do not want to hear what they have to say, and condemn them without even considering what they stand for, they continue on. Everyone's story here is different, and we've all come from different backgrounds and served in different ways and dealt with different adversities, but the unifying factor, regardless of our positions, is our love of God and desire to serve God through this call, even if we wind up penniless and persecuted (both of which are likely).
And in a sense, that is what I mean by pain. In part I meant the 600 pages of reading I had this past weekend, followed up by 600 more this weekend, in addition to papers and what not.
But in another part, I mean the pain of trial. Because right now, things are great. But when I leave BC, with a masters, with a doctorate, with no piece of paper at all, I head out into the "real world," if such a thing exists. I head out into a Church that is changing, whether it's progressing forward, or returning to the past, or a bit of both, and I have the potential to influence that change. But it won't come easy. Not that anything ever does, especially in academia. I'm sure that it must piss doctors off to an incredible degree when someone comes up with these homebrew remedies that get all kinds of acclaim, even though in reality they don't work. "Dr. Phil" draws an incredible audience, even though the APA revoked his license years ago.
The same is true, I find, in the Church, if not more so. The people who have actually devoted the time and energy to study the Bible, the history, consider the morality, etc., get drowned out by the will of the masses who haven't done the same work. It's not to criticize them, because (hopefully) they were doing something equally as important. But, especially in morals, I find, there is a problem, and my fear is that people make choices and place them under the guise of "Christian" without ever actually thinking and looking at the rationale for those choices. You see this in politics especially, which is a whole 'nother spiel entirely, I'll save it for another time.
But I feel pain. I see my Church, my beautiful Catholic Church, and I see that the world doesn't want to trust it anymore. I see it's mistakes (that's right, its MISTAKES) and I understand why the world seems to have a problem with it, but I can't blame the Church. It's only made up of humans. We ain't perfect, not by a long shot. Everyone, whether thief, mechanic, politician, or pontiff, is a sinner, and we screw up. I don't think that's reason to hate the Church. I love it. I love my Catholicism, and I can't stand to see when some people drag its name through the mud, or when people call themselves Catholic and then proceed to drag it into the mud. I want to stop that. And the only way I know to get people to stop that is to stop the ignorance.
I want to stop the ignorance of the people who attack Catholicism because of the actions of a few and don't really understand. At the same time, I want to stop the misinformation about Catholicism and what it stands for and what it should stand for. I want people to think about this. My hope, my only hope for anything that I ever did in ministry or that I ever will do, is that people will think about this stuff. Theology is incredible. I love it. But I have to think about it. If we are not willing to question, if we are not willing to wrestle with this stuff, then we are just like the Pharisees and scribes that Jesus criticized in the gospels. They got the letter of the law, but they never bothered to find the spirit of the Law. I hope to find the spirit, and I hope that I have encouraged others to do that as well.
Jesus said "Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened." (Matt 7:7-8) I hope that if I can do nothing else, I encourage people to ask, to search, and to knock. That is the way we will come to find God.
And I continue to be reaffirmed as I study the value of this time, and that this is a good decision for me. Being here has reminded me of why I care about this Church and this theology so much, why I love my ministries so much. Because this is, what I hope at least, what God has me here for. To help others, to be a voice for God and for the truth. Even if I'm misguided, and I certainly am at times, I hope that I can at least get people to seek God more fully. If I am in the right, then I hope to convince others that I have found the right. If I am wrong, then I hope to convince others to correct my mistakes through their own work.
Well...I do hope I encourage people to do one more thing though...to follow what Jesus says in John: "I give you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you should also love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:34-35). If we can do this, then everything else will work out. I hope that we will always strive to find the truth, but if we want to find the truth, this is the way towards it. Without love, without genuinely treating people out of love and a desire for their betterment, not our own, we will never be able to find the truth. If we become people of love, we will find the One who loved us.
And really what else is there?
"They took your life
They could not take your pride
In the name of love
One more in the name of love
In the name of love
What more in the name of love?"
-U2, Pride
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Atrahasis
If you want to know what that is, it is one of the cool things I learned today.
Today begins the graduate school classes. I am jokingly referring to it as the day I stopped selling back books, because I'm beginning to believe I'm getting to a point where I need to keep everything I read cause there's too much good stuff in it. I figure, all the other Theology professors I've seen have essentially a library in their offices, so I may as well start building my own.
I had "Theological Synthesis" and Intro to Old Testament today. The synthesis class is basically systematic theology, which is basically...if I dare to describe it as such...studying a system that a theological view falls from. I really don't know how to explain it well, but I can think of an example (I hope). Take Aquinas, for instance. He has (in essence) a system to his theology, so that there is a central point that he draws all of his other conclusions from. What he believes about Jesus' humanity and divinity, the trinity, the role of the church, our moral obligations, and other dogmatic questions essentially derive themselves from this one thing that he holds onto.
Now as I read that over, I can already tell there are flaws in my explanation, so just trust me on this when I say that it is cool, even if I cannot explain it. If I can make it through the reading this weekend I will stick with this class.
The other class is Intro to Old Testament, which is with Fr. Clifford, who just happens to be the dean of the entire School of Theology and Ministry. And we engaged in small talk today during the break about literalists of the Bible. So I would like to think I know someone famous and in power ;) But the class is very good, just a lot of information to digest. My head is still swimming right now, for a lot of different reasons.
But all today I just felt excited. I actually felt excited about what I was learning, kind of a "look at what I learned today" feeling, which honestly I probably haven't had since I was a kid. It really is a great feeling, and it quickly reaffirmed for me that this was a good decision. I needed something like this. This place, BC, and this masters environment is so far beyond what I was expecting. It's challenging, the theology is hard, it's detailed, it's very in depth and requires a strong foundation in one's faith, but I don't feel like the professors are out to grill us at all. It feels like a journey to discover what this really means. Fr. Vacek, or Edward, (which by the way I still don't like calling professors by their first names, I understand why they do it, but I don't really feel intimidated by that or by them, I want to learn from them, that puts me in the student's position...sorry, I got carried away there) had said that mathematicians study numbers and formulas, scientists study nature and the world, and theologians get to study God, and we are quite a lucky few for it.
I am very excited for this.
I just hope when November hits that I'm not entirely overwhelmed by this work, but honestly even if I am I still think I'm going to love it. Even if I don't get my PhD now or ever, I still feel that this place is going to be great for me. The people come from all walks of life and all have different reasons and stories and beliefs and vocations and what not, but we're all drawn to the same place by the same faith and the same desire, to come and know God more and share that with others. It's an incredible feeling, an incredible action, an incredible reality. I'm still getting used to what it means, but it really is great.
The best part though, is that I continue to sense that there's more going on here than studying theology. BC tries to gear this program to also help form its students, to not just let what we learn in the classroom stay in the classroom. I need more challenges to my faith, I do not want it to remain the same, because every time that it does I get in more trouble.
So again, I am really excited.
I do miss St. Louis though. I will always call it home, and I'm not sure if Boston will ever come close to that. But I do love it here so far, and things are going great.
Oh, yeah, the Atrahasis thing. Well, honestly, if you want to know I'm probably not the person who should tell you. You can google it and see what it is, and maybe you can figure out the importance of it for this class. But in a nutshell, it helps to explain the beginning parts of Genesis in terms of what it meant at the time it would have been written for the Israelites. That is a very, very condensed and horrible explanation, but it's all you're gonna get out of me. But if you want to know, you definitely can. I'm learning new things up here all the time.
Theology is awesome. Thank God for it.
"I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more"
-Sonicflood, "In The Secret"
Today begins the graduate school classes. I am jokingly referring to it as the day I stopped selling back books, because I'm beginning to believe I'm getting to a point where I need to keep everything I read cause there's too much good stuff in it. I figure, all the other Theology professors I've seen have essentially a library in their offices, so I may as well start building my own.
I had "Theological Synthesis" and Intro to Old Testament today. The synthesis class is basically systematic theology, which is basically...if I dare to describe it as such...studying a system that a theological view falls from. I really don't know how to explain it well, but I can think of an example (I hope). Take Aquinas, for instance. He has (in essence) a system to his theology, so that there is a central point that he draws all of his other conclusions from. What he believes about Jesus' humanity and divinity, the trinity, the role of the church, our moral obligations, and other dogmatic questions essentially derive themselves from this one thing that he holds onto.
Now as I read that over, I can already tell there are flaws in my explanation, so just trust me on this when I say that it is cool, even if I cannot explain it. If I can make it through the reading this weekend I will stick with this class.
The other class is Intro to Old Testament, which is with Fr. Clifford, who just happens to be the dean of the entire School of Theology and Ministry. And we engaged in small talk today during the break about literalists of the Bible. So I would like to think I know someone famous and in power ;) But the class is very good, just a lot of information to digest. My head is still swimming right now, for a lot of different reasons.
But all today I just felt excited. I actually felt excited about what I was learning, kind of a "look at what I learned today" feeling, which honestly I probably haven't had since I was a kid. It really is a great feeling, and it quickly reaffirmed for me that this was a good decision. I needed something like this. This place, BC, and this masters environment is so far beyond what I was expecting. It's challenging, the theology is hard, it's detailed, it's very in depth and requires a strong foundation in one's faith, but I don't feel like the professors are out to grill us at all. It feels like a journey to discover what this really means. Fr. Vacek, or Edward, (which by the way I still don't like calling professors by their first names, I understand why they do it, but I don't really feel intimidated by that or by them, I want to learn from them, that puts me in the student's position...sorry, I got carried away there) had said that mathematicians study numbers and formulas, scientists study nature and the world, and theologians get to study God, and we are quite a lucky few for it.
I am very excited for this.
I just hope when November hits that I'm not entirely overwhelmed by this work, but honestly even if I am I still think I'm going to love it. Even if I don't get my PhD now or ever, I still feel that this place is going to be great for me. The people come from all walks of life and all have different reasons and stories and beliefs and vocations and what not, but we're all drawn to the same place by the same faith and the same desire, to come and know God more and share that with others. It's an incredible feeling, an incredible action, an incredible reality. I'm still getting used to what it means, but it really is great.
The best part though, is that I continue to sense that there's more going on here than studying theology. BC tries to gear this program to also help form its students, to not just let what we learn in the classroom stay in the classroom. I need more challenges to my faith, I do not want it to remain the same, because every time that it does I get in more trouble.
So again, I am really excited.
I do miss St. Louis though. I will always call it home, and I'm not sure if Boston will ever come close to that. But I do love it here so far, and things are going great.
Oh, yeah, the Atrahasis thing. Well, honestly, if you want to know I'm probably not the person who should tell you. You can google it and see what it is, and maybe you can figure out the importance of it for this class. But in a nutshell, it helps to explain the beginning parts of Genesis in terms of what it meant at the time it would have been written for the Israelites. That is a very, very condensed and horrible explanation, but it's all you're gonna get out of me. But if you want to know, you definitely can. I'm learning new things up here all the time.
Theology is awesome. Thank God for it.
"I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more"
-Sonicflood, "In The Secret"
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Collaborating With God
With those words I believe I actually began my education at Boston College. Today was orientation day for the Theology folks at BC, I estimate there were 90 of us new folks, maybe 40 Masters of Theological Studies students (which makes us the largest part of the largest class the School of Theology and Ministry has ever had...I'm pumped). The faculty seem very cool, and I am very excited to have class with the Dean, Fr. Richard Clifford, for Old Testament. But those words were not spoken by him.
Rather they were spoken by the coordinator of the MTS program, who also happens to be my faculty advisor, as well as teaching probably the first class I will take, Fr. Edward Vacek. He said to the MTS students that during our time at BC, we are basically collaborating with God to try and help out the world through doing His will, and maybe it's a basic idea, but it was really the first time I had heard it presented as such. I have previously continued to struggle with the idea of how God works through us, is it just God, is it God and us, or God in us. Can we only screw up, and can God take credit only when something good comes from our actions? (See I'm already thinking like a master's student, asking questions I can't hope to answer)
But this was something that seemed to make sense to me. God's glory will come about one way or another, but I have a chance to be a part of it, through my gifts, if I let Him in. A very cool position to be in for sure.
So with that I begin my academic adventure at BC. It's something unlike anything I've ever undertaken before, but today, I am really feeling excited for when the classes begin. But as cool as the subject matter is, and excited I am for that, what really has me ready is the people. My fellow Theology students are some very cool people, and the freedom to actually talk and discuss religion with (relatively) no fear about repercussions for talking about God or faith is an incredible feeling and reality. As Fr. Vacek put it (still feel weird calling faculty by their first names, maybe I'll get used to it in time) we can open with a prayer and assume that everyone can follow along, because our Catholic faith is our common thread. No matter where we are in it, we still fundamentally have faith in God, Jesus, and the whole shebang (please, please, please don't let anyone from BC or the Vatican who has real power to censor me read that last bit, I don't think "shebang" is a great theological term).
I am very excited, and even better, I believe I have good reason to be. I have a feeling this will be a great semester =)
"They are turning my head out
To see what I'm all about
Keeping my head down
To see what it feels like now
But I have no doubt
One day the sun will come out"
-Coldplay "Lovers in Japan"
Rather they were spoken by the coordinator of the MTS program, who also happens to be my faculty advisor, as well as teaching probably the first class I will take, Fr. Edward Vacek. He said to the MTS students that during our time at BC, we are basically collaborating with God to try and help out the world through doing His will, and maybe it's a basic idea, but it was really the first time I had heard it presented as such. I have previously continued to struggle with the idea of how God works through us, is it just God, is it God and us, or God in us. Can we only screw up, and can God take credit only when something good comes from our actions? (See I'm already thinking like a master's student, asking questions I can't hope to answer)
But this was something that seemed to make sense to me. God's glory will come about one way or another, but I have a chance to be a part of it, through my gifts, if I let Him in. A very cool position to be in for sure.
So with that I begin my academic adventure at BC. It's something unlike anything I've ever undertaken before, but today, I am really feeling excited for when the classes begin. But as cool as the subject matter is, and excited I am for that, what really has me ready is the people. My fellow Theology students are some very cool people, and the freedom to actually talk and discuss religion with (relatively) no fear about repercussions for talking about God or faith is an incredible feeling and reality. As Fr. Vacek put it (still feel weird calling faculty by their first names, maybe I'll get used to it in time) we can open with a prayer and assume that everyone can follow along, because our Catholic faith is our common thread. No matter where we are in it, we still fundamentally have faith in God, Jesus, and the whole shebang (please, please, please don't let anyone from BC or the Vatican who has real power to censor me read that last bit, I don't think "shebang" is a great theological term).
I am very excited, and even better, I believe I have good reason to be. I have a feeling this will be a great semester =)
"They are turning my head out
To see what I'm all about
Keeping my head down
To see what it feels like now
But I have no doubt
One day the sun will come out"
-Coldplay "Lovers in Japan"
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