Ugh...

I really hope I know what I'm doing sometimes. Cause I'm pretty sure that I don't more often than not, or at all.

Again, playing on an earlier theme, being a good Christian, hell, being a good person, can really be tiring sometimes. And you may never really know if you are or not. I just hope that I am, and that in some way, I might contribute to some good in this world. And it sucks when the thing that you think is right just sucks, just absolutely sucks to do, and you wind up feeling like an ass while doing it. Sorry for a lack of details on this situation, gotta keep it that way, but for trying to keep it out of my mind, it's still there. Trying to do what's in the best interest of the person, even while I'm not quite sure what that is, and trying to balance my own self-interest along with what's best for them, and it's just dumb. I really need to just stop worrying and continuing to second-guess this, but it's really hard.

Ugh...

But I still have hope, that there's some greater purpose I'm not seeing here, and that things are gonna work out somehow. They usually do. The point of ministry: to try and be God's hands and feet while remembering that, ultimately, we ain't God. And I ain't. As is usually pounded into me over and over again.

So I shall try to continue to have a smile on my face and a song in my heart, and hope against hope that maybe, just maybe, I'm actually doing the right thing, even if it feels so wrong.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I cannot accept
And the wisdom to know the difference

And with that, I welcome the weekend.